Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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