this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
