Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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