I faked an abortion last night.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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