Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
