There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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