apparently the secret to your success is patron
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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