We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
