Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
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I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
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Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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