Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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