that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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