shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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