ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
