I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
