Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
