As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
