I will die if light touches me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
