and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
