that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
