GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
