Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
