Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
