shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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