I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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