I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
