boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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