so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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