Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
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