i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Ketchup is God's man juice
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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