just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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