this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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