All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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