Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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