I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
