she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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