Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.

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(631): View more from New York

she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly

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(303): View more from Colorado

I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.

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(641): View more from Iowa

FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.

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(404): View more from Georgia

A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.

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