remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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