I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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