U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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