I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
