shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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