K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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