The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
