is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
