I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
