youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He felt like a one man threesome
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
