The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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