I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
