he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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