i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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