3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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