I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
