like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
