Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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