By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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