i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
