i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
a search helicopter?!
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
