Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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