how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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