i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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