it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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