No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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