I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
