forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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