I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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