McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
