low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
